Our final moments in the studio to start our final piece, our Icon painting.
I had a big canvas board with me especially for this.
I was so nervous. And I was finding it so hard to concentrate, as a result. I started with my face and halo... we were encouraged to use ideas from images and ideas we had seen and collected through the week. The details in my halo is part of that...
And I was so in love with the hand door knocker, I knew that I wanted to include that. Hands are still a challenge for me so I felt nervous... so I avoided it. Once I had started painting... I left to get coffee and take a breather. I came back and drew the hand/door knocker but I left again. I had so much anxiety that I spent most of the day just walking and walking. I ended up looking for last minute gifts. I looked to do anything other than finish this piece.
I really struggled to come to terms with my nerves. I couldn't believe it was affecting me so badly.
The view of our studio from my bedroom.
I want you to know that I still haven't finished this piece.
We look at each other often - I love her face. And that hand. I'm not sure about my composition but maybe one day I will find the courage, right! Maybe we must stay this way, as a reminder of the journey of understanding and experiencing the fear, as I did.
Who knows... but for now... it is how it is.
On Thursday afternoon and evening - most of the group headed out to the vineyard for a tour and wine tasting. I had already decided that I wasn't going to go because I did it last time and in light of the fact that I don't drink wine, I knew I wanted to use that time to do something I didn't get to do last time and that was to climb the clock tower. Because I was avoiding my painting and my fear - it was a perfect time to head up. I will share my images in another post.
No comments:
Post a Comment